Eagle, ID — Here is a more detailed account of what happened leading up to Brian’s death. The cause of death was multi-organ failure due to diabetes. Brian was a type-1 diabetic and had it since the age of 11.

Brian had been sick a lot the past year. He was in and out of the hospital several times. Unbeknownst to us, the doctor told him three weeks ago that his organs were starting to have trouble and he didn’t have long to live. Brian never said a word to us. Jen called Brian Thursday night for something. She asked what he was doing. He said he was scrubbing his bathroom and house because “he couldn’t stand the thought of all those people seeing it the way it was.” Jen wondered what he was referring to, but never asked.

Friday Mom called Brian and he didn’t feel well. Mom went over to his house around 2 pm. Brian was thirsty, so Mom went to the store and bought him some food and soda. Brian drank five 2-liter bottles of soda in two hours. Mom got concerned and told him he was too weak to get to the bathroom and she couldn’t carry him, so they were going to have a problem if he kept drinking like that. Brian said, “Don’t worry, I haven’t used the bathroom in two days.” That should have been a red flag that his kidneys were already shut down, but in the heat of the moment, it went over Mom’s head.

I got a phone call around 5:15 pm. Mom said that Brian was mumbling and sweating. She wondered if she should call an ambulance (she couldn’t physically get Brian to the car). Mom had asked Brian if he needed to go to the hospital, and he said no, he would be alright. I was very confused. How could he go from eating and drinking to being in trouble. I told Mom to call the doctor.

Around 6 pm I called her back to talk more. He had more symptoms and when I looked them up on the internet, they didn’t look good. His eyes were dilated and he was sticking his tongue out. Mom got frustrated at this point. She complained that she can’t cope with this stress. She didn’t know how much longer she can keep doing this (trying to help Brian through these illnesses). When I got off the phone, I said a prayer that Heavenly Father would make the right thing happen. I asked that if Brian needed to go to the hospital that the doctor would call so we could get him there.

A little before 7 pm Mom told Brian that she was taking his two dogs outside and she would get him another drink when she returned. He said, “ok.” Mom was out with the dogs for five maybe ten minutes. When she returned she called to Brian from the kitchen to see what he wanted. He didn’t respond. She called again and got no answer. She walked into the room and Brian was blue, cold, and stiff. Mom just freaked out. She called me hysterical. Then of course, she was upset that she hadn’t called the ambulance. I told her that if he died that quickly, he was in multi-organ failure and an ambulance wouldn’t have done any good. Or worse, they would have hooked him up to machines and prolonged his life so Mom would have had to make the decision to remove him from the machines.

They called the police to come because he died at home. When Jen called 911 the operator instructed her to move Brian to the floor. Jen said, “I can’t move anyone, I am eight months pregnant.” The lady insisted. Jen asked why. She told Jen that they needed to do CPR. Jen said, “He’s dead.” The lady then asked, “Are you refusing?” Jen (thinking they might arrest her) said, “Maybe.” Sometimes I wonder about those operators. If someone has been dead for 15 minutes CPR will do nothing for them. They had four police officers at the house. Then the two men from the mortuary came to pick up the body.

This was so much harder than losing Dad. None of us, even Mom, had the chance to say goodbye. We all felt the coulda, shoulda, woulda regrets. You think back and wonder what was the last thing you said to him, when was the last time you actually had a decent conversation that meant something. I can’t even begin to describe the emotional roller coaster I faced all night Friday. I went through that and I know there is an afterlife. I can’t even imagine what those who think this earth life is it go through.

To add to the stress, Brian had two sweetheart pitbulls. They were so nice. However, they were getting older and were very spoiled. None of us could take them, so we decided to put them to sleep. Brian didn’t want anyone else to have them. We didn’t want them to get into an unknown situation and possibly get abused. Many people in Utah buy pitbulls to fight them. We didn’t want anyone beating the dogs to make them mean. That meant Mom and Jen had to suffer through three deaths.

Here’s the online obituary or you can look in the Salt Lake Tribune or Deseret News (online also) on Wednesday and Thursday.

The viewing is Thursday from 6-8 pm at the LDS church on 10600 S 949 E (next to Methodist church) in Sandy, UT.
The funeral is Friday at 10 am with a viewing from 8:30 to 9:30 am at the LDS church on 11000 S 1300 E in Sandy, UT. Brian will be buried in Loa, UT at 4 pm on Friday.